Sadness

....I just buried my beautiful little yellow parakeet named Sunny. I'm feeling very sad and weepy right now.

yesterday it was only 2 weeks since we buried my dear, beautiful, special, loving, wonderful Mother. i have wanted to write about mom's death, which followed 12 long years of alzheimer's, but found that i haven't been able to write about her yet since i'm still absorbing it all...that even tho mom has mentally been "gone" for so long, now she's really gone from my life. even tho she has not known for a long, long time who i was, i still knew who she was and could stroke her hair and kiss her and try to make her smile, and tell her i love her.

in the interim, one of my parakeets has been ailing. just late yesterday he seemed to stop eating and became weaker. my husband lovingly set sunny on the bottom of the cage last evening so he wouldn't have to struggle to climb to a perch.

this morning sunny was still breathing, but laid his little head down. then while we were up the road voting, sunny died.

i know what i say next might sound really foolish, stupid and childish, but the way i figure it: God LOVES birds! He put them in the garden of eden. the Bible says in Matthew that "His eye is on the sparrow..." and it says in Jeremiah that God causes the birds to know when to migrate.

AND I KNOW GOD LOVED MY MOTHER! AND I KNOW MY MOTHER LOVED GOD and is now in His loving arms in Heaven! my mom also LOVED birds, as i do. the same night that mom died was the night i thought sunny-bird wouldn't live through the night. he bounced back, did well, but then the past 4 days has looked poorly. if God loves birds so much i'm just figuring that they will also be in Heaven. so in my mind, little sunny is sitting on my mom's finger, just chortling and chirping away, bringing her all the JOY that he brought me for the past five years.

... i sure miss my mom.