The past few months have brought many celebrations: 6th grandchild's birth, vacation in California, Mom's entrance to Heaven, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Anniversary, New Year, Daughter's 40th, to name just a few. I used to think that I didn't like change, but have discovered throughout the past 2 decades or so that changes take place regardless of whether or not we welcome them. I'm not sure that i've learned to necessarily welcome them, but at least i have learned not to fear them. that's a big step for me.
what else have i learned? well, as i come up to the one year celebration of my re-life-ment, i have learned to live in the present. i spent a couple years leading up to that important transition date, counting and re-counting the days and marking off my calendar in anticipation. i even considered (tho i never actually did) making one of those construction paper chains so that the few months leading up to my relifement, i could tear off one link at the end of the day, just so i could visually experience the closeness of it--like i used to do when my children were young and we'd anticipate just how close it was getting to Christmas.
i counted in all different patterns--which of course, suited so well the obsessive compulsive side of me. i'd count months, i'd count mondays, then eventually, days. in looking back, it has ALL gone so fast! going through the waiting however, seemed slow. but, i don't do much counting anymore; i'm thrilled to take things one day at a time. (IRONICALLY, as i type this, the song playing on my computer right NOW is: "This is the day that the Lord has made; i will rejoice and be glad in it.") I guess that pretty well sums it up!
Monday, January 5, 2009
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I like this entry a lot, Mom. It is difficult sometimes for me to remember to live in the present. But I think it is the only way to do it.
Funny enough, there is a quote in "Kung Fu Panda" (of all places!) that says" "Yesterday is already past; the future is a mystery; but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."
I like that.
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